IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
