First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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