I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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