Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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