I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
