I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
