When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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