And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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