I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
