As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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