Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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