one two three fourrrrnication!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
