Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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