I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
