Define "chronic" masturbator.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
