Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think your dad took our porno
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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