My Higher Power is John Stamos
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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