Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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