dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
