Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
