Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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