I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
