I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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