so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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