Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
