Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
