hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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