Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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