I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
