Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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