Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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