hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
