i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
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He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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