DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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