Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
