Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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