Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
