She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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