What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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