At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nobody cheats on THIS.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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