perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
