sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
