my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
