Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
