I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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