just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
