We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
