Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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