well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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