yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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