I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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