yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Randomize
