If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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