oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Farmville is her only friend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
