I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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