Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize