I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
