He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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