i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
do nipples grow back?
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