Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
